My Inspiration

So many things have happened. I've been so busy and swamped with things to do. Graduation is coming up, lots of final projects/tests/portfolios, chorus, Stuyvesant orientation (including my math placement test), and memories of the last nine years at my school hitting me like a truck that I'm trying to avoid.

My friend came down from New Hampshire with her two friends. We had lots of fun hanging out and exploring New York City :) We went to see Wicked together, also. For those of you who don't know, Wicked is a Broadway show that plays in the Gershwin Theater. It's incredibly expensive (as most Broadway shows are) but just amazing to watch (" "). We sat really close and even though it was my second time seeing Wicked, I was blown away. I was SO much closer than I was the first time and I was old enough to really appreciate the whole thing.

This time, though, it hit me in a way that I wasn't expecting.

Earlier before, I had been doing concerts at the Joyce theater with a select few from my chorus to sing in the beginning and end of a dance performance by the Stephen Petronio  dance company. Seeing the dancers stretch, warm up and practice before the show fascinated me and watching the bits that happened during our singing was great. I had an amazing time being in the theater and it touched me and interested me in a way I couldn't describe.

When I went to see Wicked, I had goosebumps down my arms the entire time. I was enthralled! Every note, every movement, just called to me. Watching the dancers and the singers, the different parts, the way the music and the story line fit together, the lighting, the sets, the costumes, make-up, the way the principles projected and stage whispered; it was amazing. My heart was twisting around inside my chest, I kid you not. I longed to be up there, surrounded by talent and beauty. I itched to sing my heart out on that stage. So it just hit me. I want to be in theater. I want to be in musicals.

So my goal is to start eating healthier and work out every day. Stretch every morning and every night. Start taking ballet again. Start working with my mother on my singing technique and try to convince her to get me voice lessons. I also really want to learn to play the piano and guitar, because my dream to have a band shouldn't just die!

I'm too excited about this. It's like love! Joy and happiness and willingness to take on anything life throws at me as long as I can get what want- no, what I NEED. I need this. Every fiber in my being wants this, has to have this. I know it's hard. Waking up at 5 in the morning, standing in line for an audition, putting on make-up hastily in line, warming up with the hundred other people, singing two lines while you're sick to your stomach, being told you suck and then waking up and doing it all over again. But it's worth it (in my opinion). I think you should go for your dream no matter what it takes, despite the odds.

My band is still in my mind. Why can't I do both? Theater is like the portal to the arts and I'm free to roam around as I please. So this is just another dream. No, another goal. As Adam Lambert said, "Don't they say that you dream more when there are things you aren't attaining, that you are repressing? Well, I haven't been having any dreams lately. Now I'm in a waking dream." That's my goal.

I know this has been an incredibly boring post, but  it was such a weird revelation for me. Now that I read it over, it's also kind of cheesy, but I think that's okay as you really believe what you're saying. And I really do.