God it feels good to be back.
It is so easy to lose yourself in the world sometimes. You spend your days looking forward to when things will get better and magically resolve themselves, but sometimes we need to look back and realize we lost ourselves along the way. I feel like I have run out of the Garden of Eden into a raging storm. I am lost and confused, but I keep running, hoping to find someplace better, someplace to rest, finally- but I don't turn around and go back. Why don't I just go back? Why can't I just turn around and make life happy again?
Why do we have to reminisce about life in its best moments and despise the moments we have now? Why do we run forward so fast, farther and farther away from the things that make us happy, frantically searching for the eye of the storm? I don't have the answers. But I am ready to go back to the Garden and settle down for good.
It's time for a fresh start. It is time to take my life back. I refuse to let myself crumble under the sickness of this world. I am immune. I will, from now until forever, be immune to the death-while-living life supposedly imparts unto us.
Sorry life.
I will not let you suck anymore.
Because you know what? LIFE DOES NOT SUCK. Life is beautiful. Life is a blank canvas, an empty staff, a new pair of ballet slippers. It is up to you to pick yourself up and make art.
So if life sucks, and is boring and overwhelming and painful, just slap yourself in the face and get to it. Once you start sketching and mixing colors, you will be inspired to paint your life together in the perfect combination of colors. Those dance shoes may hurt, but the more you practice, the softer they will become until they mold perfectly to your feet and bring your dancing to its best.
Write your thoughts down, play some notes- the lyrics will ebb and flow, the cords will clash and resolve, but you will eventually end up with music worth playing for the rest of you life.
Because music can come just at the right time to save your soul. So thank you, Emma Morcroft, for doing just that- for bringing me back home. You came at the perfect time.
I'm back. And I will never let them take me alive again. We are starting over, you and I. We are gonna do good this time.
• Savy Hendrix
Thursday, November 29, 2012
"And you came just in time... to save this heart from black and white..."
Posted by Savy at 7:51 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Have you ever just sat and thought about your life and where you were headed and where you came from? And just thought about the people you admire and the person you are and saw that they didn't match up? That the life you dreamed of isn't happening and you know the problem but you dont want to admit it? Because it's too hard to accept that you need to change? Because if it's not you
Posted by Savy at 7:02 AM 1 comments
Sunday, December 20, 2009
"...you never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth..."
Sometimes we leave.
Posted by Savy at 10:45 AM 2 comments
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
"...time is never time at all..."
I have so little time these days. I am so sorry about my disappearing act, but school, funeral, seminary, voice lessons, chorus, and HOMEWORK oh my goodness! I miss my blogs like CRAZZYY and my all fave blogs/bloggers too, but I'm going to have to stay hidden for a little while longer!!! Love you all, and miss your blogz!!
Posted by Savy at 7:31 PM 0 comments
Thursday, August 27, 2009
"When there's no where else to run, is there room for one more song?..."


Posted by Savy at 10:52 AM 4 comments
Thursday, July 9, 2009
"...if you can't control the beast that dwells inside it will find its place somehow, somewhere in time..."
Suppression is hard. Being judged is hard. Being forced to be someone you're not is hard. Living in a world of ignorance is hard.
I've read books and watched movies about things of such nature. I always thought about how if I was in that situation, I would stick to who I was, I would not care what other people thought of me. I realize, though, that where you live has a huge impact.
New York City is lively and diverse. You can find a strong pride for every race, religion, culture, sexuality, you name it. There are neighborhoods for EVERYTHING and everyone yet it's diverse where ever you go.
Davie County, not so much. Southern and Midwestern states (sorry to be stereotypical, but it's the truth) tend to be much more conservative and hush hush about anything or anyone that may "rock the boat". That's where all those heartbreaking stories of fighting suppression in the struggle for self-discovery come from.
Davie County, North Carolina is where I am now. I've never had a more depressing revelation. I, who live in New York City, am only staying for 2 weeks and are already expected to be different, feel the pressure to succumb to "normal" society. It's really hard. So much talk of hate towards Mexicans and black people, gay people, people with tattoos and piercings, people who marry someone different, hatred toward other countries, degrading speak of anyone who is not a white, straight, Christian. Even degrading and ignorant talk about women.
I feel like everything I do is wrong and nothing I do will be enough to win the respect of those around me. I have to win every badmitton game I play, every fight I have with my cousin (all in fun, I promise), lift everything, clean everything, do things that are painful or take a lot of strength and courage just to prove myself worthy. Just to prove that I'm not some stuck up city girl. Just to prove that I'm not a scared prissy girly girl. Just to prove that women can be just as strong as men, do just as much. But it only goes so far.
One slip of the tongue, one failure, one flaw, one crack in my armor is filled with sarcastic and demeaning comments, laughter, the dark enjoyment of watching me fail to show the world all that I am [not].
The jokes, the laughter, the "good humored" remarks wear away continuously at people's pride. I understand how people who live and grow up in these places wear painted smiles and sing bulletproof notes of joy.
When I meet friends and family, walk down the street, people stare with cold judgmental eyes. The air is thick with lies, gossip and hidden feelings blanketed with carefree ignorance. It makes me want to cry when everything anyone says has the same tone, the same intention. Words are carefully cropped to fit into the mold of society and not show feeling. Feelings and thoughts are carefully locked away. Conversations go no deeper than your skin. The worst, sickening part is that there is no escape. When you tell your friends a secret, you leave out what they shouldn't know. When an idea sparks in your head, you can't tell mommy the whole thing. If you feel bad about doing something, you mention it with no real strength, no intention. Every emotion is locked inside and no one every tells the real story, not even when it matters. Not even to themselves.
No wonder being different is out casted. Wearing, thinking, saying, etc. different things is a way of expression. Showing how you feel. Unacceptable. It's a world of painted smiles and glass eyes living in a field of fear in the dark, overgrown with ignorance, lost ambition and dreams long dead and buried. Eat, work, farm, drive, smile, sleep, and avoid the opinions and ideas burning in your head. Fear the unknown=avoid the unknown=ignorance=lazy selfishness.
Ignorance stops progress. Ignorance kills love. Ignorance is the root of dysfunction. Ignorance hurts the educated. Ignorance is easy. Ignorance is safe (or at least we can pretend it is). Ignorance causes pain. Ignorance causes conflict. Ignorance is Satan's discrete and virtually undetectable way of causing havoc, hatred and war.
Ignorance is absolutely selfish.
Posted by Savy at 6:45 PM 2 comments
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Movement Of Life: Death
Death. It's such a dark, abrupt word. Such a dark, abrupt topic that is often left unspoken, undiscussed. But recently it has been a slap in the face for many people I know. And a shadow lurking for many others.
Posted by Savy at 11:55 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Quick Note!
I have many thins to say, but no time to say it right now. I got a new template that I LOVE except I have to apologize for the difficulty in seeing the font. Sorry...
Posted by Savy at 7:07 PM 3 comments
Friday, June 5, 2009
My Inspiration
So many things have happened. I've been so busy and swamped with things to do. Graduation is coming up, lots of final projects/tests/portfolios, chorus, Stuyvesant orientation (including my math placement test), and memories of the last nine years at my school hitting me like a truck that I'm trying to avoid.
Posted by Savy at 1:17 PM 4 comments
Friday, April 10, 2009
"...show me what it's like to dream in black and white..."
On Monday I got to spend some time with my dad. We went to the movies together and saw Slumdog Millionaire. It was so amazing! I love that movie! It was so moving to see the slums in India and all the children and what they go through. It's really humbling considering all the things we have here in America that we take for granted.
Posted by Savy at 1:24 PM 4 comments
Thursday, April 9, 2009
SPRING BREAK!
I am now on spring break! Woo hoo! SO I will have much more time to post. I've been meaning to post about a LOT of things lately, but life has been so busy! But now I have time to live life! I am off to a sleep over with Michael(for the record, she is girl)(not that it matters) and Casey, but before I go I just wanted to give a shout out to a really amazing blog by meh called Neon City Lights. I encourage you all to check it out because she writes really awesome poetry :)
Posted by Savy at 12:57 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Bye
I've decided to end my blogger account so I wont be posting anymore. Love you guys! Good luck to you all.
Posted by Savy at 2:13 PM 6 comments
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
"...this is how it's been, how it...will be..."
Hi everyone! I just wanted to say that I am in North Carolina visiting my family so I won't be posting for probably another week. Sorry for not commenting on any of your blogs, but I try to enjoy the outdoors while I can before going back to the city, so I'm not around the computer much. If I do post at all it will be on [enter creative blog title here] or The Coming Of Genius.
Have a great week!
Posted by Savy at 5:45 PM 5 comments
Thursday, February 5, 2009
"...I have so much to tell if you would just open your hearts and listen..."
I got the test results back from the SHSAT today! I got into Stuyvesant and Eleanor Roosevelt! Woot woot! I got the highest test score out of all the 8th graders in my school and I was the only one who's gotten into Stuyvesant (from my school) in years! I'm so happy!

Chamber Street
You can click the link above to see some things on Chamber Street where Stuy is located. It's right next to Ground Zero! (even though I don't think there's a pic of that)
----------------------
So enough bragging, now I am going to play a music game! ("YAY!" scream all the little children)
Here are the rules:
1) Put your iPod/iTunes on shuffle.
2) Put the first line to the first 25 songs that play.
3) See if your friends can guess what song each line it's from and which artist it's by!
4) "Tag" 25 other people to do the same.
Here goes!
1. "Conquest! He was out to make a conquest..."
2. "Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention..."
3. "Last year's wishes of this year's apologies..."
4. "Hey, ain't life wonderful?..." (speaking)
5. "And if they get me and the sun..."
6. "Come save me from walking off the windowsill..."
7. "Back to the street where we began..."
8. "Glory to God on high..." (lol don't laugh)
9. "Sing it for me..."
10. "I'm starin' out into the night..."
11. (huh huh hu-uh)"You know you're not the only one..."
12. "Perfect by nature..."
13. "I'm a stitch away from making it..."
14. "This night, walk the dead..."
15. "Now I'm of consenting age..."
16. "When I was a young boy..."
17. "Stop! Take some to think, figure out what's important to you..."
18. "Sun bright morning, when this life is over I'll fly away..."
20. "Clouds are marching along..."
21. "I comb the crowd and pick you out..."
Posted by Savy at 10:48 AM 5 comments
Saturday, January 31, 2009
100 already?
Wow I just noticed that my last post (not this one) was my 100th post. Whoa. This blog has been through so much. I've changed so much from when I started to now, it's amazing. Well, I do have some stuff to write, but my camera is not available at the moment and pictures are crucial for what I feel like writing about. Speaking of pictures, my profile picture is now an actual picture of myself (which I NEVER do) and my new haircut (which would shock you if you knew what I looked like with long hair). So until next time! 101! Only an eternity more to go! :P
Posted by Savy at 7:08 PM 3 comments
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tag! I'm it! (again)
2. What color are your socks right now? : No socks on :P
3. What are you listening to right now? : nothing right now (which is unusual for me)
4. What was the last thing that you ate? : A patty melt, but right now I'm drinking hot chocolate! :D
5. Can you drive a stick shift? : no. 17 seems like very far away...
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? : Casey probably. Oh wait scratch that, I just talked to my dad like 5 seconds ago, lol
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? : Yep! As well as I know her which I have to admit isn't very well, lol
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? : tennis :)
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? : No but I hope to soon! (black)
12. Favorite food? : Oh I don't know.
13. What is the last movie you saw? : The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (it was amazing!)
14. Favorite day of the year? : February 29 :)
15. How do you vent anger? : MUSIC!
16. What is your favorite season? : Fall
17. Cherries or Blueberries? : blueberries
18. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? : huh?
19. How many sibs do u have? : zero
20. When was the last time you cried? : hmm I don't know
21. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? : Casey
22. What did you do last night? : watched Dexter (season 2)
23. What are you most afraid of? : being peer pressured into being someone I'm not
24. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? : cheese!
25. Favorite dog breed? : French bulldog or pug
26. Favorite day of the week? : Saturday
27. How many states have you lived in? : 1
28. Diamonds or pearls? : diamonds <3
29. What is your favorite flower? : either black or white roses, or white calla lilies (I can't decide!)
Posted by Savy at 1:26 PM 2 comments
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Blog Awards!
Yay! I have been awarded a Fabulous Blog Award by both Amy and cowgirl4christ! I feel so loved! So here are my instructions and your instructions, too if you are on my top 10 fabulous blogs!
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which you think are fabulous.
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.
So here are my 10 fabulous blogs:

Posted by Savy at 9:53 AM 4 comments
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Congratulations Mr. President!

"I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many.
They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.
To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.
We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."
America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."
Posted by Savy at 4:34 PM 2 comments
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
"...you'll never remember, your head is far too blurry..."
Waiting in line. Two hours of standing in the freezing cold and snow. Numb feet, red cheeks, pockets full of stickers, buttons and fliers promoting struggling artists who walk the line for hours in the cold trying to sell a CD or promote a website. The heart of Times Square in the snow at 5pm on a Tuesday night and still people fill the streets, umbrellas up, heads down, rushing to get warm.
Posted by Savy at 3:14 PM 6 comments
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"...so this is Christmas..."
The concert was amazing! I'll write about it soon, but right now I am swamped with last minute things to do for Christmas.
Posted by Savy at 5:36 PM 2 comments
